如果你想申请大学，那么留学文书personal statement则是必不可少的。小编在多年的从业经验中发现很多学习成绩很好的学生将自己的留学文书当做议论文来写作，从小学写到大学，然后总结一下所申请学校的好处，结果就是千篇一律，没有办法给审核人员深刻的印象，最终和理想的学校失之交臂！但在我们深入研究一些超棒的个人陈述personal statement例子之前，首先搞清楚个人陈述personal statement到底是什么，以及在写自己的个人陈述personal statement时，应该考虑包括哪些内容。
个人陈述personal statement是什么？
它就是大多数申请表都会要求你写的主要文章。它让你回答“你是谁，你在乎什么？”这样的问题。近年来，由于很多大学越来越不依赖标准化考试成绩，这篇文章在申请过程中的作用越来越大了。
为什么看看别人的个人陈述personal statement例子呢？
我们鼓励学生看看别人的个人陈述personal statement，这样可以了解一篇棒棒的个人陈述personal statement可能长什么样子，可以看到各种各样的主题、结构和写作风格。我们会分享我们最喜欢的12个例子，并分析它们为什么特别出色，这样可能会帮助你提高自己的文章。
个人陈述personal statement应该展示你的性格特点、技能和价值观，以及你如何准备好上大学。在我们看来，好的个人陈述personal statement有四个特点。你可以问自己以下的问题，看看你的文章是否具有这四个特点：
- 价值观：你能不能说出作者的4-5个重要的价值观？作者有没有展示出不同的价值观？
- 真实感：这篇文章听起来像是理智分析的，还是更像真实的、深情的分享？读完后，你是不是对作者了解多了，感觉亲近多了？
- 洞察力：文章中有没有3-5个让人眼前一亮的观点？这些观点是不是真正有深度，还是太过于平常？
- 写作技巧：文章的逻辑是否通顺，但又不是那么明显（也就是说，不会让人觉得无聊）？你能否看出，草稿过程中投入了大量的时间和精力？
Day 19: I am using my school uniform as a slate to tally the days. As the ink slowly seeps through the fabric of my shirt, I begin to understand that being a conscious Arab comes with a cost.
Flashback.
Day 7: I come across a live stream on social media, 1,200 Palestinian political prisoners are on their seventh day of a hunger strike against the Israeli occupation. It is the first I have heard of its occurrence. I allow myself to follow the news daily through social media while regional mainstream media and our local news channels refrain from reporting any news of the strike.
Day 13: I am engulfed by the cry for justice. I feel helplessly overwhelmed, not wanting to confront reality, but I force myself to anyway; actively searching, refreshing my phone to tune into live streams from protests, plugging in “Palestinian hunger strike” on the search engine to stay connected to the cause.
Day 18: No one else seems to know anything about what is going on. I am compelled to find a way to embody the struggle. In my first period class, I see a marker beside the whiteboard. I pick it up, not sure what I’m going to do, but then hear myself asking my classmates to each draw a vertical line on my shirt. It seems funny at first--they laugh, confused. But each time the marker touches the fabric it tells a story. It is a story of occupied countries, a story in which resisting apartheid becomes synonymous with criminality, a story we refuse to address because we have grown too apathetic to value life beyond our borders. As my classmates draw the tally, together we tell the story of the hunger strike and mourn the distance human beings have created between each other.
Day 20: My uniform has become a subject of question. Each pair of eyes that fix their gaze on the ink, I share the story of our Palestinian compatriots. The initial responses are the same: disbelief, followed by productive conversation on our moral responsibility to educate ourselves on the conflict.
Day 28: Each day the strike continues, I have asked my classmates to draw another line on the tally. While it still comes across as unsettling, it seems to no longer represent the reality of the hunger strike. My classmates are no longer interested in what it means. I am supposed to move on already. I am called in to the principal’s office. After being instructed to get a new shirt, I choose to challenge the order. As long as the hunger strike lasts, I will continue to voice the reality of the hundreds of prisoners, in hopes of recreating the sense of responsibility I originally sensed in my peers.
Day 41: A compromise deal is offered to the political prisoners and they suspend their hunger strike. I walk out of school with a clean uniform and feel whole again, but unnaturally so. I was left feeling an unspoken kind of weakness where I broke under the realisation that not all sorrows could resonate with people enough for me to expect them to lead movements.
I would need to be the one to lead, to recreate the energy that the tally once inspired. I decided to found a political streetwear brand, Silla, where fashion choices transcend superficial aesthetics by spreading a substantial message of equality and donating the profits to NGOs that advocate for social change. Through Silla, I am able to stay in touch with my generation, keeping them engaged with issues because of how they can now spend their money Silla has mobilized people to voice their opinions that align with equity and equality. Because of my adherence to justice, I was elected student government president and I use it as a platform to be vigilant in reminding my peers of their potential, inspiring them to take action and be outspoken about their beliefs. When the ink seeped through the fabric of my uniform it also stained my moral fibres, and will forever remind me that I am an agent of change.
.独树一帜的主题和联系。总的来说，这篇文章就是亮点一片。作者怎么在衬衫上画线的独特故事吸引了读者的注意。虽然这个故事不是你通常在别人的申请中看到的，但是不要被吓到。拥有一个独特的主题可以让你写出一篇有力的文章，但只有这个还不够。真正让这篇文章突出的是作者关于她的同学和学校对远离但重要的政治冲突的集体反应的见解和联系。这个学生很好地引发了她同学的情感反应，并非常到位地表达了她对冷漠的愤怒。在写你的文章时，想想你怎么用独特的方式带读者进入他们没想到的领域。- 实验性的结构。这篇文章中的一个亮点就是它的结构，这展示了文章的精细制作。作者用了一种强调数字和时间顺序的结构，这两个点是文章的核心。通过玩弄时间和距离的概念，作者强调了文章的一些关键点，也表明她不怕跳出常规思考。记住，招生官会看很多的个人陈述；一个独特的结构可以让你在人群中脱颖而出。
- 回答了“So What？”的问题。真正让这篇文章触动人心的是最后一段。虽然每天因饥饿罢工在制服上画线的故事很吸引人，但我们不完全确定这对作者的生活有什么关联，直到她写到最后一部分。在那里，她告诉我们她的政治敏感的时装线，和她被任命为学校主席。这回答了“So what？”的问题，因为它让我们看到她是怎么把罢工期间学到的东西应用到她的生活中。在你写完第一稿后，回过头再看一下，确保你清楚地展示了你是如何根据你的反思或价值观行事的。
Day 1: “Labbayka Allāhumma Labbayk. Labbayk Lā Sharīka Laka Labbayk,” we chant, sweat dripping onto the wispy sand in brutal Arabian heat, as millions of us prepare to march from the rocky desert hills of Mount Arafat to the cool, flat valleys of Muzdalifa. As we make our way into the Haram, my heart shakes. Tears rolling down my cheeks, we circumvent the Ka’ba one last time before embarking on Hajj, the compulsory pilgrimage of Islam. It became the spiritual, visceral, and linguistic journey of a lifetime.
Day 3:
“Ureed an A?htare? Hijab.”
“Al-harir aw al-Qathan?”
“?hilaahuma.”
“Kham ?hamanu-huma?”
“Mi’at Riyal.”
“La. Khizth sab’een.”
“Sa’uethikhá Sab’een.”
“Shukran la?.”
“Show me hijabs.”
“Silk or cotton?”
“Both.”
“How much do these cost?”
“100 Riyal.”
“No. Take 70.”
“Fine. Thanks Hajjah.”
In Makkah, I quickly learn shopkeepers rip off foreigners, so exchanges like this, where I only have to say a few Arabic words, make me appear local. It also connects me with real locals: the Saudi Arabian pharmacist who sells me cough syrup, the Egyptian grandmother seeking directions to the restroom, the Moroccan family who educates me on the Algerian conflict. As the sounds of Arabic swirl around me like the fluttering sands (Jamal, Naqah, Ibl, Ba’eer…), I’m reconnecting with an old friend: we’d first met when I decided to add a third language to English and Bengali.
Day 6: The tents of Mina. Temperature blazing. Humidity high. I sleep next to an old woman who just embarked on her twentieth Hajj. When I discover she’s Pakistani, I speak to her in Urdu. Her ninety-year old energy--grounded, spiritual, and non-materialistic--inspires me. So far, every day has been a new discovery of my courage, spirit, and faith, and I see myself going on this journey many more times in my life. My new friend is curious where I, a Bengali, learned Urdu. I explain that as a Muslim living in America’s divided political climate, I wanted to understand my religion better by reading an ancient account of the life of Prophet Muhammad, but Seerat-un-Nabi is only in Urdu, so I learned to read it. I was delighted to discover the resonances: Qi-yaa-mah in Arabic becomes Qi-ya-mat in Urdu, Dh-a-lim becomes Zaa-lim… Urdu, which I had previously only understood academically, was the key to developing a personal connection with a generation different from mine.
Day 8: “Fix your hair. You look silly,” my mom says in Bengali. When my parents want to speak privately, they speak our native tongue. Phrases like, “Can you grab some guava juice?” draw us closer together. My parents taught me to look out for myself from a young age, so Hajj is one of the only times we experienced something formative together. Our “secret” language made me see Bengali, which I’ve spoken all my life, as beautiful. It also made me aware of how important shared traditions are.
As I think back to those sweltering, eclectic days, the stories and spiritual connections linger. No matter what languages we spoke, we are all Muslims in a Muslim country, the first time I’d ever experienced that. I came out of my American bubble and discovered I was someone to be looked up to. Having studied Islam my whole life, I knew the ins and outs of Hajj. This, along with my love for language, made me, the youngest, the sage of our group. Whether at the Al-Baik store in our camp or the Jamarat where Satan is stoned, people asked me about standards for wearing hijab or to read the Quran out loud. I left the journey feeling fearless. Throughout my life, I’ll continue to seek opportunities where I’m respected, proud to be Muslim, and strong enough to stand up for others. The next time I go to Hajj, I want to speak two more languages: donc je peux parler à plus de gens and quiero escuchar más historias.
- 它直击人心，让人感同身受。关于乌尔都语单词特有的共鸣，以及作者在哈吉旅程中与遇到的人分享的对话等细节，使这篇文章栩栩如生。几乎每一行都充满了生动的意象和富有质感的语言。这些细节使这篇文章阅读起来有趣，真正让我们进入作者的世界。每当你写作时，想想你怎样能通过五官来展示你是怎样经历某事的，而不仅仅是告诉别人。
- 它通过图像传达了时间、地点和自我感。注意这个作者如何使用图像和细节给这个个人陈述带来梦幻般的质感，穿梭于空间、人们、语言和思想之间。结果，作者能够谈论他们文化的许多不同方面。细节的传达方式也表达了作者的审美感，为读者提供了另一个窗口，了解他们作为一个人的样子。当你写作时，想一想你如何使用具象的语言向读者展示你关心什么。
- 它有效地使用了对话。对话并不总是最好的策略，因为它可能会占用你的很大一部分字数，却没有明确地表达你是谁。然而，在这篇文章中，作者很好地利用他们与旅途中遇到的人的对话来传达他们的价值观和兴趣。对话不仅强调了他们对语言和文化交流的着迷，还将本来会很密集的段落分解成易于阅读的小部分。
12 is the number of my idol, Tom Brady. It’s the sum of all the letters in my name. It’s also how old I was when I started high school.
In short, I skipped two grades: first and sixth. Between kindergarten and eighth grade, I attended five schools, including two different styles of homeschooling (three years at a co-op and one in my kitchen). Before skipping, I was perennially bored.
But when I began homeschooling, everything changed. Free to move as fast as I wanted, I devoured tomes from Jefferson, Hamilton, and Madison to London, Kipling, and Twain. I wrote 10-page papers on subjects from Ancient Sparta and military history to the founding of the United States and the resounding impact of slavery. I discovered more than I ever had, kindling a lifelong joy for learning.
While high school offered welcome academic opportunities--studying two languages and taking early science APs chief among them--the social environment was a different beast. Many classmates considered me more a little brother than a true friend, and my age and laser focus on academics initially made me socially inept. I joined sports teams in spring and built better relationships, but my lack of size (5’1”) and strength relegated me to the end of the bench. Oftentimes, I secretly wished I was normal age.
That secret desire manifested itself in different ways. While I’ve loved football since I was a little kid, I soon became obsessed with personal success on the gridiron--the key, I figured, to social acceptance and the solution to my age problem. I had grown up obsessively tracking my New England Patriots. Now, instead of armchair quarterbacking, I poured hours into throwing mechanics and studying film after my homework each night. Itching to grow, I adopted Brady’s diet, cutting dairy, white flour, and processed sugar. But in the rush to change, my attitude towards academics shifted; I came to regard learning as more a job than a joy. No matter what talents I possessed, I viewed myself as a failure because I couldn’t play.
That view held sway until a conversation with my friend Alex, the fastest receiver on the team. As I told him I wished we could switch places so I could succeed on the gridiron, he stared incredulously. “Dude,” he exclaimed, “I wish I was you!” Hearing my friends voice their confidence in my abilities prompted me to reflect: I quickly realized I was discounting my academic talents to fit a social construct. Instead of pushing myself to be something I wasn’t, I needed to meld my talents and my passions. Instead of playing sports, I recognized, I should coach them.
My goal to coach professionally has already helped me embrace the academic side of the game—my side—rather than sidelining it. I have devoured scouting tomes, analyzed NFL game film, spoken with pros like Dante Scarnecchia, and even joined the American Football Coaches Association. Translating that coach’s mentality into practice, I began explaining the concepts behind different plays to my teammates, helping them see the subtleties of strategy (despite Coach Whitcher’s complaints that I was trying to steal his job). And I discovered that my intellectual understanding of the game is far more important in determining my success than my athletic tools: with the discipline, adaptability, and drive I had already developed, I’ve become a better player, student, and friend.
Physically and mentally, I’ve changed a lot since freshman year, growing 11 inches and gaining newfound confidence in myself and my abilities. Instead of fighting for social acceptance, I’m free to focus on the things I love. Academically, that change re-inspired me. Able to express my full personality without social pressure, I rededicated myself in the classroom and my community. I still secretly wish to be Tom Brady. But now, I’m happy to settle for Bill Belichick.
对于范文三的赏析：
- 有一个精彩的开头。第一句话很棒。它既有趣又引人入胜，也不过于透露信息。在刚开始我们就已经知道作者是个足球迷，注重细节，学业优秀。它不仅告诉我们很多关于他的信息，而且让他能顺利过渡到他的故事主干部分，讲述他非常规的教育轨迹是如何影响他今天的人格。想一下你怎么用你个人陈述的前一两句有效地引入你的故事声音，吸引读者继续阅读。
- 它有一个非常好的“啊哈！”的时刻。好的个人陈述往往能展现出成长。在这个例子中，作者在高中寻找自己的位置，因为他跳过了两年级，而且在他生活的大部分时间里都在家自学。直到他的足球队朋友肯定了他的价值，他才开始看到他的独特技能如何惠及他周围的人。如果你把你的文章想象成你生活的电影胶卷，这个时刻就像是高潮。这是主角的心态发生改变，让他接受他拥有的一切的时刻。这个“啊哈”时刻的期待和释放，让读者对文章保持了兴趣，并展示了你作为申请者的自我反思和适应变化的能力。
- 它涵盖了广阔的时间框架，但仍然包含了大量的精彩细节。这篇文章基本上讲述了作者从五年级到现在的生活。他并没有专注于一个特定的时刻。如果你想展示你是如何在较长的时间内成长的，这绝对是你也可以做的事情。然而，注意到这里的作者并没有为了广度而牺牲深度。尽管他涵盖了相当大的一段时间，他仍然谈到了他最喜欢的课程和作者、足球榜样，以及和朋友的对话等伟大的细节。这些都是使这篇文章变得出色并特定于他生活的部分。如果你打算谈论不止一个事件或时刻，请不要忘记一路强调重要的细节。
这里知乎允许的篇幅实在有限，我已经将完整的12篇优秀的留学申请文书放到了这个链接里，大家自行查看哈
12篇优秀的留学申请文书范文帮你打开思路
